Single Mothers College

Being a single parent and going back to college is a big undertaking. Although it is a reasonable endeavor and one that you can definitely accomplish, in order to do well and preserve your own sanity, you need to make sure you’re engaging in good self care techniques. Here are a few tips for getting you started on good self care while you’re taking care of children and pursuing your own educational dreams:

• #1: it’s just not always possible to take care of everyone else and yourself!
  - Though you probably know this, sometimes everyone falls in to the trap of thinking that they should put everyone else before meetings their own needs. Doing this too much or too consistently is a recipe for being burned out early on in your educational career.

• Create a “going home” ritual
  - Because you’re going to have a lot of responsibilities, obligations, and deadlines all competing for your time, it’s important that you take a moment to center yourself before going home. You can’t give your all to other people if you’re not giving to yourself too and rejuvenating your spirit. Good “going home” rituals include playing a specific CD or music on your drive home, stopping for a snack, or using the commute to talk to a friend on the phone.

• Maintain good relationship boundaries
  - An important aspect of self care is making sure that you’re letting the important people in your life know when you need help or a pep talk and when you need to be left alone to accomplish your goals. Setting healthy boundaries about people visiting your home or taking on additional responsibilities such as volunteering or helping a neighbor need to be done in moderation when you’re doing two or more full time jobs (going to school, raising children, etc.). Being up-front and clear about what you need will help you maintain healthy and positive relationships while you finish your education.

• Keep track of your own mental and physical health

- Know when to say you need help and don’t be afraid to go out and get the help you need. If you’re not sleeping, sleeping too much, overeating, not eating enough, having frequent crying spells, or something else that’s out of character for you – seek the help and assistance of a trusted friend, mentor, or physician/health professional. As stated earlier, you can’t help others if you are not in tip-top shape!

Remember that good self care is a daily activity, and not something that should only be done during ‘vacation’ or breaks from school, work, or child care. Good self care is the daily practice of not only recognizing what you need, but taking the steps to ensure you’re getting the support and care you need and want to be your very best.